The first moments after the death of your loved one can be a huge shock to your system and an emotional release. Don’t be surprised at the range of emotions you may feel in these initial moments. We tend to jump straight into “the next steps” and start to make phone calls, to address the “I should . . . ” or “I need to . . . ”. Be gentle with yourself in these initial moments. If you are able, try to resist the urge to jump into tasking mode. You won’t be able to stop the cascade once you start the process of notifying family and friends who weren’t present during your loved one’s final moments.

If you would like to continue tending to your loved one, you can gently close their eyes for them if they are open and provide a final sponge bath. Bathing your loved one can be a sweet, final moment to share. When your loved one’s bath is complete, you can place a rolled towel under your loved one’s chin to keep their mouth closed and insert dentures (if worn) to keep your loved one’s mouth shape. If the head of their bed is elevated, it is best to lower it down and lay them flat.

Take the hour after the passing of your loved one to just be present in that moment. Drink tea, cry, laugh, listen to soothing music, or tell stories about your loved one who passed.

The world will feel like it has stopped and indeed it has.

Take this time to honor the sacred space you, your family and your loved one (who is still believed by many to be in spiritual transition) are experiencing. There will be plenty of time for all the phone calls and the business, so just share that space with no expectation, no agenda and no timeline.