We feel it is important to discuss grief and how it can touch this unique, beautiful community. LGBTQIA+ individuals have to navigate emotionally challenging experiences as an often daily occurrence. Kānaka māhū are faced with societal stigmas, discrimination, and searching for acceptance in a predominately heteronormative world. As a result, they are two and half times more likely to experience depression, anxiety or other mental health disorders in their lifetime as a potential baseline experience. At times, LGBTQIA+ relationships are not accepted or legitimized by societal norms and this absence of collective recognition and validation can complicate their grieving process. 

Many LGBTQIA+ individuals have estranged or strained relationships with their birth families or family of origin. As a result, they may be unable to attend funerals, rituals or family gatherings after the loss a birth / origin family member. For many, attending funerals, memorials or celebrations of life can be a very important part of the grieving process. Being denied this opportunity can stifle the natural grieving process.

Grieving a lost loved one from their birth / origin family can also be complicated if the relationship was strained or estranged prior to the death of their loved one. This can leave the bereaved grieving not only the loss of their loved one, but also reliving or re-experiencing the grief of being rejected, in essence, for who they are. Hope of future acceptance or reconciliation is no longer possible and their grief is often unrecognized and can be amplified as a result. 

After losing a loved one within their community, many LGBTQIA+ individuals may struggle with feelings of shame, invisibility, and the sense that their grief is unwarranted. This invalidation of their grief, by society at large, can often keep them from seeking much needed support. Even if the bereaved do eventually seek much needed support, there is still an often limited understanding of their loss by the professional or medical community. This experience can lead to inadequate or inappropriate grief support leaving the bereaved feeling misunderstood and further isolated.